Do You Have The Time?

We are halfway through the year, heading into summer, the season of playing, rejoicing and enjoying! Now is a good time to reflect on what you want to start, stop, and continue doing. A great time to review and reflect on what's working and what's not. Preferably seated in the shade with your favorite beverage.

I took a bit of a break during the month of May to ask myself:

• Where am I headed?

• Am I going in the right direction?

• Do I need to make any changes?

I'm glad I did, because I realized I needed to slow down, fall back on some things, reassess, recalibrate, then move ahead. Why wait until the end of the year? This is why a monthly check-in, as well as living according to the seasons of your life, is vital. I’m happy to be back in your inbox to share what I've learned with you.

If you're thinking you don’t have the time or energy for self-reflection, this is definitely for you.

Part of the reason we think we don’t have the time is because we don’t know how much time we actually have. We are so busy checking off items on our never ending list, we can't see the forest for the trees. Often caught in the weeds, we lose sight of ourselves. When you think you don’t have time for yourself that means it’s time to make time!

Start small. Let’s look at how you can create time for yourself daily, weekly, and monthly. Below are some suggestions which you can customize to your situation and needs:

Daily:

Take brief, 10-minute breaks during the day. In that 10 minutes you can:

• Read an article

• Do some breathing exercises,

• Journal,

• Have a cup of tea

• Pray/read scripture.

To help you remember to pause, it may be helpful in the beginning to set your phone alarm at intervals of 1-2 hours. Before or after a meeting is the perfect time to get in 10 deep breaths, which is a quick and powerful reset. If you have a problem meeting your daily water quota, this is a great opportunity. Use those breaks to drink 4-8 oz, or to get up and move around. Bonus points for taking your entire lunch break—away from your desk!

NOTE: These tips work whether you work away from, or at home, or retired.

Weekly:

Now, let’s find you longer breaks during your week. How about scheduling in at least an hour once a week of personal time?

You can:

• Go for a drive

• Sit in a park and people watch

• Browse in a shop

• Do whatever you’ve been wanting to do but haven’t had the time.

Monthly

Block off a half to a full half day, for personal time. Use that time doing something you enjoy, not cleaning or running errands!

You can:

• Visit the museum or an art gallery,

• Sign up for a class and learn a craft/skill

• Get out in the garden

• Pull out your cookbooks and try a new recipe.

• Hang out with a friend.

IMPORTANT: If you live with anyone, let them know beforehand about the new routine. It might be hard at first—for you and for them. But trust me, once it’s established, you’ll be glad you did.

Remember this is your time. Don't spend it on someone else.

You can do more, or less of what's suggested. What you do isn't as important as committing, consistency, and keeping your word to yourself (please don’t cancel on yourself)!

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Trust me, I know that doing for self can feel uncomfortable, especially if you're not used to putting yourself first. However, you are not wrong for doing it.

You don’t have to wait until everything is done and everyone is taken care of before you tend to yourself.

You may feel that what I’ve suggested are things you should know to do. Sometimes, we can carry shame or regret around not being able to make and keep plans for ourselves. The thing is we were never taught to do that. We’re taught to over extend, over do, and overhelp.

Our survival depended on it. We were told we should be able to be and do everything! In fact, we were taught we’re lacking if we can’t do it all!

Quick Story:

My mother was one of the first Black women medical administrators for a NYC Hospital. She was also a wife, and mother of six. As you can imagine, when she walked in the door, everyone wanted her ear. She was more than willing to attend to our needs, HOWEVER, we had to wait 20-30 minutes while she went into her bedroom. We could NOT disturb her. When she emerged from her reset, she was ready to give her family her full attention.

Her actions were a gift to us. Of course, at the time we didn't see it that way; we just wanted our needs met. With that simple act, she showed us the value of self-care, how to respect her and her time, and how simple it was to do it for ourselves.

Resting, relaxing and choosing ourselves is more than some frivolous activity for people with nothing to do. It's serious. It's the way to reclaiming ownership of our body, mind and soul.

It's freedom.

There is an inexplicable joy felt, when in the words of Mother Congresswoman Maxine Waters, you start to reclaim your time. I pray that you will.

Let me know one thing you can do this week to reclaim your time.

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"Black women bear the burden because we are all that we got. Until it becomes so that we feel that can carry everyone's burden and not take care of ourselves.

Throughout history, all we've done is take care of other people. From the neighbor's kid, to the person down the street, to the slave master's child, the slave master, the mistress. All black women have done throughout history is take care

of other people.

Our worth is in our work.

Our worth is seen in our bodies.

We are not applauded until we produce something for someone else.

We're not celebrated or validated until we do something for someone else.

And so we continue that narrative in every way of life."

"All the women on the maternal side of my family are dead. They worked and died way too young. That's why I truly believe that freedom is not optional, rest is my strength, and radical joy is my resistance." *

*Quote by Theresa S. Thames

Excerpted from the beautiful documentary,

"In Our Mothers Gardens" on Netflix

Have a beautiful week! Don't let anyone take your joy, and remember to care for yourself first!

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I AM…

A Brooklyn Peach. Born and raised in Brooklyn, NY, now residing in "a city set in a forest," Atlanta, GA. I love warm chocolate chip cookies, funk music, documentaries, memoirs, and Romans 12:1-2. I love talking pop culture, women in the Bible, homemaking, healthy living, grandmothering, reading, and rituals! The best part is when I get to share how it all blends together for good.